How to get a man or boy to go to therapy
As a therapist who has over 10 years of experience providing individual therapy for anxiety or depression with men and boys in downtown Hamilton, I will often get calls from mothers, daughters, sons, wives, husbands, and partners asking: “How do I get the man/boy I love to go to therapy?” Usually, the man or boy’s loved one is seeing the signs that he is struggling with his mental health (gambling, drinking, drug use, anger, not sleeping, avoiding the kids, receding into games, etc.). But each time they bring up therapy, it just seems to make him shut down or lash out. If you are in this situation, it is not your responsibility to manage this man or boy's mental health and no one can be made to go to therapy. That being said, here are a couple do’s and don’ts to help bring up therapy to a guarded man or boy in a more effective way…
Understanding the Risks of Sports Gambling/Betting
Sports betting has become increasingly accessible and popular, especially among men. What often starts as a harmless pastime can sometimes evolve into a problematic behaviour. In my ten years as a therapist in downtown Hamilton, I’ve seen more and more people whose sports betting habits are beginning to negatively affect their mental health, relationships, and financial stability. If you're noticing troubling changes in yourself or a loved one related to sports betting, you're not alone—and there are steps you can take to address it.
The Hidden Side of Anger: What You Might Be Feeling Instead
Anger is both a helpful and unhelpful feeling. It can help defend something important in your life - for example, if someone you love is being hurt, or someone is pressuring you to break a principle you hold, anger can give you the energy to defend what is important to you. On the other hand, anger can be an incredibly destructive force. It tears apart families. It leads to abuse. It all too often leads to unnecessary hurt. In my ten years of experience as a therapist in downtown Hamilton, I’ve seen it happen.
Anger is unfortunately especially a problem for men. Men are too frequently taught that being masculine means limiting emotional expression to a very narrow range. Men are ‘allowed’ to be neutral, angry, or maybe a little happy. Any expression of other emotion comes with the perceived risk of being weak or ‘less of a man.’ So, men learn to express any uncomfortable feeling as anger. This is not only the case for men, but it is especially the case for men.
So, (especially if you are a man) if you are finding anger causing you to hurt people you love or put distance between you and others, or get you into some other sort of trouble, my advice for you is this…