It’s happening now! How to connect with the present moment to live better
Have you ever driven home from work and realized you don’t remember a single turn? Or found yourself standing in front of the pantry with a spoon of peanut butter in your mouth, but not feeling any hunger or awareness of its taste? If so, you’re not alone. The human mind can be really good at thinking through future situations to develop a well thought-out plan. The human mind can also reflect on past events to hopefully glean wisdom on how to do better in the future. However, these powers our minds hold can also be the reasons we lose track of what is happening here and now.
Why being present to this moment matters
This may sound a bit mystical, but it’s true: the present moment is the only reality we can truly interact with. When I have a warm memory I can’t go back and try different action in that moment. When I anticipate what might go wrong in a lecture tomorrow, I can make better notes but I can’t actually deliver the lecture to the class. In all this language about other times I miss what information is coming in through my senses right now.
Sometimes, being present is painful or awkward. But to live meaningfully means being present to what is happening right now. You may fantasize about what might happen on a date, but the real spark happens when you truly listen to what the other person is saying when you’re on that date. You may desire to be a firm and caring police officer in the future, but the only place that can actually happen is when you walk up to the door on a call. When you’re connected to the moment, you’re better able to notice what you care about, tune in to your values, and respond with clarity rather than react on autopilot.
What does being present mean?
Present-moment awareness means bringing your attention to what is happening right now—internally (your thoughts, emotions, sensations) and externally (your surroundings, what you’re doing, who you’re with). It involves observing these experiences without judgment, with openness and curiosity, even if they’re unpleasant.
It’s not about removing every thought from your mind or forcing yourself to feel calm. In fact being present sometimes means noticing discomfort and accepting an unwanted internal state. You might feel bored, restless, nervous, or distracted—and that’s okay. The goal is not to change your experience, but to become more aware of it, so you can choose your next step with intention.
Common pitfalls: Past and future thinking
There’s nothing wrong with thinking about the past or planning for the future. Problems arise when we get stuck there.
When you’re locked in the past, you may feel guilt, resentment, or regret. You may start to tell stories about who you are as if all the past actions remove the possibility of being different in the future.
When you’re consumed by the future, you may feel anxiety, pressure, or overwhelm. There are literally an infinite number of things that can go wrong in your life. No matter how smart you are you will never solve all of them to the degree that the worry about them goes away.
The way through the suffering of these thoughts is to return to now. This moment. Your breath. Your body. The task or person in front of you. Not to escape your problems, but to become grounded enough to deal with them effectively.
How to practice present-moment awareness
You don’t need hours of meditation to become more present.
Noticing your breath: Take 30 seconds to feel your breath moving in and out. It anchors you in your body and the here-and-now. When (not if but when) your mind drifts, notice that thought and redirect your attention to the present. It doesn’t matter how much you get distracted, it is about how diligently you return when you notice the distraction.
Checking in with your senses: What can you see, hear, feel, smell, or taste right now? This brings you out of your head and into direct contact with life. I like to do these in the order of:
5 things I can see
4 things I can feel through my skin
3 things I can hear
2 things I can smell
1 thing I can taste in my mouth.
I try to describe these sensations as if I am explaining them to someone on a phone call and I try to only describe what I am sensing, not what those senses lead me to think (for example,. “I have a stale taste in my mouth,” not “I am lazy because I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”)
2 minutes of open attention: Whether you're washing dishes, walking, or talking with someone—try giving your full attention to what you’re doing. What are your senses telling you while you are doing this action?
The benefits of being “here”
When you practice connecting with the present moment, you become less controlled by your thoughts and emotions. You notice more. You show up more fully for your relationships. You can act with spontaneity and be surprised by the world around you. And perhaps most importantly, you become more able to act in line with what really matters to you.
You don’t have to be perfect at it. Minds wander—that’s what they do. But each time you come back to now, you’re strengthening your ability to live with purpose and presence.
Final thoughts
Connection with the present moment is not about escaping pain or achieving constant peace. It’s about learning to be where you are as a finite creature in this very moment. It’s about becoming more open and aware so that you can meet life as it is and live it more fully. This is not a promise that life will get easier, but it does offer a way to become more engaged, resilient, and free.
If you would like help to increase your ability to be connected with the present moment, to get out of your thoughts and into your life, please book a free 15-minute consultation with me. As a therapist with 10 years of experience working with people to increase their ability to connect with the present I would love to work with you.
