Self as Context: Holding Thoughts Instead of Being Thoughts
In movies and plays we often see a person’s internal world through a soliloquy, when the performer steps to the front of the stage and tells the audience what they are thinking (for example, the famous “To be or not to be” speech from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, or Ferris Bueller looking straight into the camera letting us in on his thoughts, in one clear voice the others don’t hear). This is a powerful story-telling device, but it’s not representative of how a human mind processes thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I think a human mind is much more like this:
Yes, I think your mind is more like a big bus of monkeys than an actor on the stage, with perfect precise language sharing fully formed thoughts. Our minds tend to be noisy, crowded, and not always making sense as one speech. Instead of trying to fight with each monkey, or worse still, letting the loudest one drive the bus, you want to plant yourself firmly in the driver’s seat and notice what is going on in the bus.
At first glance, it might sound abstract and unrelated to your life, but self-as-context is a powerful and practical concept. It’s about observing your thoughts, emotions, roles, or experiences rather than being controlled by them. It is about being in the driver's seat of the bus while all the monkeys yell directions. It is engaging the part of you that notices everything, the part that’s always been there, no matter what changes around you or inside you.
The Problem with Over-Identifying with Thoughts and Roles
Most people can start to identify with our thoughts and feelings. When your have a thought like, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m invincible,” “Bad things always happen to me,” or “I’m just a worrier” it feels true in the same way a light switch being on or off is true. Over time, you build a personal identity out of these and can lose the cognitive flexibility (hyperlink) to hear all the other thoughts in your mind and consciously choose what you are going to do.
In ACT, this unwanted place is called self-as-content: seeing yourself as the content of your thoughts, feelings, and memories. The problem? That content is constantly shifting, often unreliable, and sometimes just plain unhelpful. When you fuse with these internal stories, they limit how you see yourself and limit your flexibility to do what is truly valuable in your life.
That’s where Self-as-Context comes in.
So What Is Self-as-Context?
Self-as-Context is the “you” that is aware of your inner experiences but not defined by them. It’s the observing self, the part of you that can notice your thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
You might think of it like this: Imagine your thoughts and emotions are weather patterns—clouds, storms, sunshine—constantly changing. Self-as-Context is recognizing the sky. No matter what weather passes through, the sky remains unchanged, spacious, and able to hold it all.
This observing self has been with you your whole life. You’ve been through joy, heartbreak, failure, excitement, doubt, and growth—and yet some part of you has always been there, noticing it all.
Why Self-as-Context Matters
When you can access this part of yourself, it becomes easier to make flexible choices when thoughts come up that might not help. You stop over-identifying with the painful or limiting stories your mind tells you. You can observe a thought like “I’ll never get this right” without believing it or letting it define you.
This creates internal capacity to make choices that align with your values, even when your mind is filled with doubt or fear.
Self-as-Context also fosters compassion and curiosity. When you see yourself from this broader perspective, you're more likely to treat yourself with kindness and hopefully do the same with stories you tell about others. You begin to understand: I contain my thoughts but that does not mean that I am my thoughts, just like other people are different from my thoughts of other people.
Practicing Self-as-Context
This isn’t about achieving a perfect place of observation, you will never completely become aware of every thought from the grounded place of observing. However, you can get better at noticing the stories your mind is telling and being in the observing place. Here are a few ways ACT helps people connect with the observing self:
Noticing exercises: Pause and notice—“I’m having the thought that…” or “I’m feeling sad right now.” This gentle labeling shifts you from being “in” the experience to observing it.
Perspective taking: Reflect on how you’ve changed over the years. Your body, beliefs, relationships—all may have shifted. But what part of you has been constant? That’s the observing self.
Mindfulness practices: Paying attention to the present moment, without judgment, can help anchor you in the part of yourself that notices, rather than reacts.
Self-as-Context can help you realize are not the sum total of your thoughts, feelings or the noise on that bus of monkeys. You are the ones who observe them. And from that place you can act based on your values. If you want help learning this vital skill please hit the book now button at the top of the page to book an initial consult and see if we are a good fit to work together. I’ve learned a lot by helping people grow their ability to observe thoughts for ten years in downtown Hamilton and I’m excited to keep helping people grow this vital skill.
